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UNDRESS YO PESTO
I was baffled when I received numerous queries from readers who’ve never used or even tasted pesto. First I shed a tear for them, heartbroken they’ve gone through life without the green APHRODISIAC...
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DON’T BREAK UP, KETCHUP!
Post Valentines Day blues? Did you forget to buy jewelry? Bring baby’s breath flowers instead of roses? OR were you the insensitive $@*&! that forgot the day altogether? Regardless of your...
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SNEAK PAST THE GOALIE AIOLI
That goalie is one cock-blocking bastard! They are intent on keeping you both from experiencing Shangi la. You better be clever if you’re going to score. My trick is to act like I never intend to shoot...
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FO REAL YO! TOMATILLO SALSA
This recipe comes courtesy of Derek in Denver, CO. This badass tomatillo salsa recipe has been scoring him smoking hot granola girls by the bakers dozen. Derek writes: Salsa salsa salsa! Nothing like a...
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WHO’S YOUR PAPAYA SALSA?
I have never quite gotten the expression, “Who’s your daddy?” This phrase is usually uttered by some machismo douche-asaurus banging some bar skank with a tramp stamp tattoo and daddy issues. I...
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KIWI BE JAMMING
So I admit freely that my knowledge of New Zealand is limited to the Lord of the Rings, Flight of the Conchords, and a family friend who renounced his Kiwi citizenship. None of this was going to help...
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SEXUAL PRACTICE CACTUS SALSA
All earthly creatures do it in their own way. Giraffes do it standing up, their long necks intertwined. Male spider monkeys will grab their female partner mid-air, hump them, and release before they...
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HUMMUNNA HUMMUNNA HUMMUS
Bing bang boom! When you hear that sound, you know it’s on. It’s pretty much on as soon as your date sees you make homemade hummus. They will be puzzled at the simplicity, your mastery of the food...
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